Self-Regulation

What is self-regulation?

Well, let’s break it down.  Self means you or me.  Regulation means the process of being in control or to have management. So, add these two terms together and you get, self-regulation which means you or me being in control and having the management of ourselves.

Self-regulation is a skill that many children have a difficult time learning and achieving without help. On a given day, a child (and an adult) encounters multiple situations and circumstances that require an awareness of self and others as well as the ability to have or gain self-control.

Zones of Regulation:  I have introduced this program to most of the students I work with and many will be able to clearly explain the different zones to their parent(s).  Zones of Regulation help kiddos to identify, address, and use strategies to achieve good self-control and emotional regulation in a non-judgmental and safe way. Using the zones helps to take the focus off of the child as being “good” or “bad” and places the focus on obtaining control to get back to the “green zone.” Using interactive zones of regulation activities can be helpful for kids who struggle with self-regulation.  Here is a quick rundown of the zones:

The Red Zone is an extremely heightened state of alertness with intense emotions and is typically viewed as the child being “out-of-control.” Examples include elation, rage, anger, devastation, etc.

The Yellow Zone is entering a heightened state of alertness and elevated emotions typically viewed as heading toward the red zone, but the child still has some control. Examples include nervousness, wiggly/silly, frustration, excitement, etc.

The Green Zone is the optimal level of alertness and is typically viewed as the child being “good to go” and ready for leaning and social interactions. Examples include: positive, calm, happy, focused, content, etc.

The Blue Zone is a low level of alertness typically viewed as the child running slow. Examples include: sick, bored, tired, sad, etc.

Please follow this link for specific strategies for implementing the Zones of Regulation at home:   Click here to visit  Taking Zones of Regulation Home

Why do we need calming strategies?

Overall wellbeing takes into account your mental and physical states. In trying times, our personal sense of balance can easily be thrown off. We all have different ways to calm ourselves. Share the ones that work best for you, but also help kids identify which strategies work best for them.

What can I do now?

Practice each of the following to find the suite of strategies that work best for you and your family. Each family member may require his or her own “toolbox” of techniques, from which they can pull as needed.

1. Breathe

When we get stressed or feel anxious, our heart rate increases, and we tend to breathe fast and shallow. Deep breathing helps slow our heart rate and delivers calming oxygen through the body. Sometimes you just need to breathe deeply and with intention. Try counting forwards or backward can help structure this exercise. Also, putting your hands on your belly can help emphasize the need to engage your diaphragm as you breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.

If you search online, you will see many breathing techniques framed for children:

• “Elephant breathing” is when you stand with feet apart, arms hanging down like an elephant’s trunk. As you inhale, you raise your arms high above your head, and then lower as you exhale slowly.

• “Bumblebee breathing” is when you breathe in through your nose and then hum (or buzz!) as you breathe out through your mouth.

• “Bunny breath” is when you breathe in with three short sniffs through the nose followed by one long exhale through your mouth.

2. Express

It always helps to get your feelings out. Find an outlet for such self-expression. Try drawing or painting a picture – artistry doesn’t matter. Carve out time each day to write, type, or dictate into a journal; there are many kid-friendly formats off and online. And sometimes, you just gotta sing! Music can be healing, so search for which tunes best puts you most at ease.

3. Do

The activities that help calm you are the ones that engage you mentally and physically. So, in short, get your hands moving as you think! Follow directions, as in cooking, to keep your mind busy as you measure and mix. Use logic, as with puzzles, to stretch your brainpower while you reach for a solution. Try a new hobby by building or tinkering.

4. Exert

Physical exertion can help release stress, especially when you incorporate resistance. It can be as simple as putting hands in pockets, pushing against a wall, or squeezing a stress ball. Try pushing your thumbs and middle fingers together on each hand to center. Another similar exercise is to clasp your hands and invert your arms to rest your chin on them.

5. Squirrel away!

Have you heard about the concept of a “Calm Corner”? Think of it as a “time in” versus a timeout. Try designating a corner in your home that you and your kids can share as a Calm Corner. When someone in your family needs some quiet time, they can escape for a few minutes of peace by themselves (you could even use a timer). Maybe add a pair of headphones to be used to drown out noise or invite in music. Think about how you can address all the senses to recenter as well: a weighted blanket, a fidget device, a sleep mask, or aromatherapy. Or snuggle up with your favorite book. There is no right way or wrong way to have a time in – the set up is up to you!

Mindfulness

Mindful Eating

• Supplies: timer, candy or raisins

• First, choose something to eat. A piece of candy (like Skittles or Hershey’s Kisses) or a raisin works. Set a timer for two minutes. The idea is for your child to close their eyes, holding the object in their mouth and focusing on it without chewing. Let’s say it’s a Hershey’s Kiss. For three minutes, he/she should focus on the candy melting in their mouth slowly. If their thoughts drift, they should simply bring them back to the candy. They should focus on the sensory experience—the taste and feel of the object. Doing so provides a tasty focal point for the mind and builds the capacity for stillness and mindful focus.

Breathing Buddy Meditation

• Supplies: timer, calming music, stuffed animals or tennis ball

• Have your child lie down. Give them a stuffed animal or tennis ball to rest on their stomach. Set a timer, and for your determined length of time, he/she should close their eyes, taking slow deep breaths while balancing their stuffed animal or ball on their stomach. If the object falls off, they can simply put it back and keep breathing. The object is to keep the focus on the breath and to balance the object for the given time.

Sensory Challenge

Supplies: timer, calming music

This can be done anywhere. Ask your child to sit comfortably and close their eyes. Take a few deep breaths together and then offer the following prompts.

1. For 30 seconds, focus deeply on what you can hear. Even the smallest noises.

2. For 30 seconds, focus deeply on what you can smell.

3. For 30 seconds, focus deeply on what you can feel.

4. Open your eyes and look up. For 30 seconds, focus deeply on what you can see.

Body Scan

Supplies: A Body Scan Meditation  (click here to utilize a YouTube video to support this activity)

A body scan is a guided meditation that takes students through a head-to-toe scan of the body. Students should sit or lie down comfortably. Listening to the audio, students should follow the cues to breath and relax the body muscle by muscle. This practice can help students learn to assess tension and use their breath to release it and its especially helpful for students with sleep problems

How to Manage Behavior

Proactive strategies help create predictability and structure.

• Document: Click here to access Tips for Creating a Home Learning Environment

• Activity: Create a simple schedule that includes movement breaks and takes into consideration the realities of your current home life.

General Strategies

• Create routines and be consistent.

• Be clear about your expectations. Give instructions while sitting next to your child and check for understanding.

• Provide transition warnings, timers, cues, countdowns, songs, etc.

• Be aware of hunger, fatigue, anxiety, or other emotions, and any distractions in the environment. Take care of these first before your child can be ready to learn.

• Utilize shared control. Allow your child to develop a daily schedule with you. Give them choices of activities.

• Make time for quality interaction that is fun

Video: Click here to visit Praise Technique

Resource: Click here to visit Using Behavior Charts

General Strategies

• Acknowledge positive behaviors. Model gratitude and build self-awareness by thanking your child for their hard work in a specific way (ex: "I'm really impressed with how you kept trying even though you didn't know the answer")

• Use reward charts when your child struggles to stay focused and persevere when things get hard. It is important to fade them once your child has developed the ability.

• Ensure your expectations are within the level of your child’s development. Rewards will not override developmental readiness.

Resource: Click here to visit PBIS World

General Strategies

• Set rules and be consistent

• When escalated, give your child time and space to calm down. When your child is calm, return to the original task. Do your best to follow through with your expectations.

Manage your own emotions. It is ok to take a step back and acknowledge your feelings and need for time and space.